I have really been wrestling with the disappointment of what I've done with my life. I know that sounds horrible but this is really the only way that we can help each other, for us to be honest. I mean, I love the choices that I have made. I love my family and my town and my niche.
But it has always felt like I had miles and miles before me to decide how I would spend my "blink of an eye" . I knew it was going to go quick, at least, that is what everyone says. But in our youth, it seems light years away. Like something will eventually come but you still don't quite understand how you can measure the distance of light anyways, so why focus on it?
It seems like those days will never come.
And then the milestones come and slap you around a little. The big one is 40, that is looming in the distance and making me feel like I better get in shape, fix my face and have my first big professional achievement because um. 40. That is a huge marker and what happens after that? Geriatric Retreats? Group Bus Tours? Restaurant discounts?
Your faith. Your actions. Someone else's life can actually be different because of what you do. I love this thinking so much because it completely takes away all my anxiety over how I get to be used in this world. Basically, because I love Jesus and have surrendered my life to him. I give him away. NOT MYSELF.