The whole time we have been on this journey, God hasn’t answered my prayer ever… Not ever in the way that I want. Not ever in the way that I think he should. It’s been harder. It’s been bigger. It’s been better.
His timing. His healing. His restoration. All has been so different than I want but more than anything, it’s been better. It doesn’t feel better. But I know that it is better.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
I know this because I prayed for a child that God would use to better His Kingdom. He’s a million times over, doing that through his sickness and that is better.
I wanted to share some of things that have happened while we feel like nothing is happening; things are happening.
One specific thing that is insane-o-rama is that we are now in possession of 692 free milkshake gift cards from Chick-fil-A. Right? Our dear friend was at a loss on what to do, as I know many of you feel, and asked God to show her a way to “reach out and bless” us. She remembered a blog post I had written from July 12, 2014,
“Don’t worry Walker, we’ll be able to have a chocolate milkshake from Chick-fila soon. God is great and is orchestrating an amazing story for Walker. He’s going to have one great testimony once he’s healed.”
So she reached out to a few local locations and a friend who “happened” to have a direct contact with James Cathy.. And they overnighted the coupons from Chick-fil-A headquarters in Atlanta. She said that ” Only the Lord can somehow use milkshakes to be a blessing in a time of unfathomable pain, and that I have asked of Him.”
It’s an overwhelming thing to be in a situation where people love you enough to reach back two years to something that you just threw out into the blogosphere and return with something like this. A milkshake in Walker’s memory. I love that. We are looking forward to blessing others with free milkshakes.
Our neighborhood has rallied around us and sent cards and meals and gifts and prayers. We moved into this new house in August of last year so that Walker would have no steps , bedroom on the first floor and a chance at a better recovery. Then he became much sicker a week after we moved in. We haven’t really had a chance to meet our neighbors, we aren’t social since we are bound by a different set of rules caring for him.. Yet, our neighbor’s rallied around us like we have been friends for years. Awkward barriers broken down and mothers and fathers just connecting on what it must be like to have one of your children sick. It’s been amazing.
Our church community and sunday school friends have taken the burden of planning the details of Walker’s funeral and reception from our minds. Every detail, every expense, every moment that is too difficult to wrap our minds around, they have taken on as theirs. To have friends that are willing to wallow in the trenches when it isn’t their storm but ours and pick up the pain and stress and carry it as it was given to them.. Only love from the Father. Only love from the Father can allow such a weaving of relationships.
We have been allowed to just be here with Walker. Our families have come in for the past 28 days and stopped their lives and helped us care for Wes and Walker. They have given us rest, fellowship and some normalcy.
There has been so much more as far as encouraging emails, texts, my big hat and black sunglasses, a basket full of monogrammed mommy things and a honey baked ham. There is something happening even when nothing is happening. Do not be discouraged. I speak to myself as much as you. God is working. God is coming. I pray that today is the day. It dawned on me earlier today when I was praying that the Lord would take him into His presence so his suffering would end, I’ve begged the Lord on Walker’s behalf before. Not while he was sick but even before he was created.
I prayed this hard when I was begging the Lord to bless us with a child. He did. 2 years, a surgery and 4% chance later, we were pregnant with Walker. Now I pray that after his 5 years here with us, that he would take him. It’s a surreal moment to come full circle on a life. A life that was never mine to keep, he is His and I’m so incredibly grateful that we get to share in it. Keep sending me your stories friends, I have many more to share.